I am so conflicted emotionally right now. I have set up an appointment with the doctor to have the Essure procedure done. It kinda bothers me though. I know I have 5 kids which is really alot. With Dougie I knew I was done. I wanted a tubal right after I had Dougie but my Doctor was crappy and yeah didn't get it done. Now over a year later I finally have it scheduled. Now I question if we really are done. Like if I get it done I will be losing out on something. This is why I wanted it done right after I had Dougie so there was no question on my mind. I know it sounds weird cause I have so many but I love all my babies. I know it would be hard having anymore. Logically I know it is the best choice but emotionally it is killing me. And I can't talk about it with the hubby cause he will just think I am crazy. Plus it is a sore spot since he was suppose to go get the big V done before Dougie was born and he chickened out and has left it to me to get "fixed". I feel like curling up and crying.
*had to edit cause I knew we went through this before and I actually had a post April 8 2008 about it. Wasn't sure how to link to that post but seems like same feelings and emotions.
