Tonight will be the first time I have left my little guy for more then an hour since he has been born. Plus we will be about half an hour away so that is the furthest away I have been from him. I am really nervous about it but I know in my heart he will be okay.
Garrett has his company Christmas party tonight and I am so excited to go with him and get some adult time finally after 9 months.
My milk supply is going down (TMI, I know) so I couldn't pump alot of milk so I got him to drink some formula and he is doing fine on it, so am gonna start supplementing with that so I can have some time.
So I have his bag packed for grandma's house, with momma milk, formula, baby food, treats, and juice. I am sure he won't need all of it but it is a very nervous time for me. This is a first.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
feel like crying
err it has been one of those days. Garrett and I haven't talked since coming home from FHE last night. Well about 30 min after. We got in a huge blow up and I just went to bed while feeding Dougie. So we haven't talked and it has created this black overcast over my day.
Plus my milk supply seems to be going away this last week. I want to continue nursing until he is 1 but it doesn't seem like it is gonna work. I feel like a failure for my son cause he is always so hungry which makes me think he isn't getting enough milk.
Then I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown because all the running around I am having to do and all the kids needing something. Plus being sick and have some sick grumpy kids and a sick hubby. It is all wearing on me. I just want to say I give up and run away for a couple days and let some magical fairy come take care of it all.
I am stressed to the max but even taking a bath doesn't work cause Dougie screams the whole time. He wants to get in the bath too or he just wants his mama. I love him to death but having to hold him most of the day plus when he is taking naps and then while we go to bed at night is just killing me. I have no down time.
Now on top of that the kids weren't doing the laundry right no matter how many times we showed them so Garrett has decided to add this task to my everyday chores. "Because I don't do alot and it can't be that hard to throw a load of laundry in." Then by the time all the kids go to bed I am ready to pass out but Garrett wants his time too, so I am staying up until 12 or 1 and then getting up at least twice a night and finally up at 6.
Please tell me that this will all slow down at some point cause it is killing me.
The most horrible is feeling like I am drying up and can't feed my little guy anymore and I think most of that is because of the stress, but I don't know how to get rid of it.
Plus my milk supply seems to be going away this last week. I want to continue nursing until he is 1 but it doesn't seem like it is gonna work. I feel like a failure for my son cause he is always so hungry which makes me think he isn't getting enough milk.
Then I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown because all the running around I am having to do and all the kids needing something. Plus being sick and have some sick grumpy kids and a sick hubby. It is all wearing on me. I just want to say I give up and run away for a couple days and let some magical fairy come take care of it all.
I am stressed to the max but even taking a bath doesn't work cause Dougie screams the whole time. He wants to get in the bath too or he just wants his mama. I love him to death but having to hold him most of the day plus when he is taking naps and then while we go to bed at night is just killing me. I have no down time.
Now on top of that the kids weren't doing the laundry right no matter how many times we showed them so Garrett has decided to add this task to my everyday chores. "Because I don't do alot and it can't be that hard to throw a load of laundry in." Then by the time all the kids go to bed I am ready to pass out but Garrett wants his time too, so I am staying up until 12 or 1 and then getting up at least twice a night and finally up at 6.
Please tell me that this will all slow down at some point cause it is killing me.
The most horrible is feeling like I am drying up and can't feed my little guy anymore and I think most of that is because of the stress, but I don't know how to get rid of it.
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